PEEK IN MY WEEK #44 – Week 23 of 2026
“You only become magnetic when you stop wanting people to see you.” – Silvia Bogers in Ontslaafd
I thought it would be a quiet week. It turned out to be one, eventually. Before that I podcasted, coached and performed on stage. Then I walked through a sauna, slept twelve hours two nights running, and cycled back and forth to the post office with card deck packages.
5-4-3-2-1 → Let’s go! 🎬
5 – THEATER: A SHOE SALESWOMAN WITH 12 FACES
Tuesday evening was the night. THE theater performance, and my piece was the grand finale. Thirteen weeks of rehearsal for a monologue where I play a shoe saleswoman who sells shoes in twelve different (insane) ways. Twelve characters in six minutes. And yes: didn’t forget a single one.
Nearly lost it laughing thanks to a friend in the audience, but that was already progress compared to six weeks ago when I still walked on stage unable to stop laughing. Because it really is a very funny piece, if I say so myself, and luckily the audience agreed.
And now? Now I’m looking into performing this monologue at the open stage night at Theatrecafé Dubbel here in Meppel. Because I know it by heart, I love doing it and I can let my inner freak loose. Getting past my stage fright together with my shadows. That’s a win.
4 – OVERCOMING BODY SHAME IN THE SAUNA
Hard to believe, but Holtslag went to the sauna alone. That has NEVER happened before. But miracles do still exist.
I always had three reasons not to go. One: I didn’t like the walking around naked part. I grew up learning that the body is something to be ashamed of. Two: I can barely sweat, so being too hot was just irritating (omg this sounds so whiny haha). And three: the prospect of other people’s naked bodies. Yes, prejudice. But those three reasons together meant you simply could not get me into a sauna, unless my sister really pushed. “Just come, it’s lovely.” Fine then.
However: lo and behold, I went completely on my own. On purpose, because I needed rest. And thanks to all the skinny dipping in cold water, I have (I won’t say completely, but almost) no trouble with being bare anymore. It’s not going to get better than this, so “quit your whining,” I told myself lovingly but firmly. And off we went.
And all three reasons? Not a problem.
1) Me and my body? Fine. (Omg what was I even worried about? I don’t want to be rude about other people, but if they’re not ashamed, why should I be? EXACTLY.)
2) Too hot? Not an issue anymore either. Bring it on: 100 degree sauna. I think the cold water dipping has rewired my internal thermostat, indeed Frank van Bergen. And the cold plunge pools I used to walk right past, all two times I’d ever been to a sauna? They could do with being a lot colder as far as I’m concerned. I’ll be writing a letter to the sauna after this newsletter. 😂
3) And naked people? All beautiful. Especially the wonderfully wrinkly ones just soaking up the sun with nothing but a sun visor on and not giving a damn. Those are the most beautiful ones of all. That’s who I want to be someday. I think that’s a life goal that will just fulfil itself. Yes!
It was wonderful, steam infusion and all. I felt reborn for a moment.
The moral of this story? We can all change. As long as we’re willing to let go of the thinking patterns that hold us back. And I’m glad I did.
3 – BONE TIRED
After the sauna day I slept twelve hours straight, two nights running. Nine months of working on the State Shift Method. It’s basically like a pregnancy, delivery and all. And now that it’s here, I’m just bone tired. Liesbeth Kingma already warned me, but hey, I’m superwoman, I can handle anything. Turns out superwoman needs rest too. Sigh.
So I gave in. For the rest of the week I only did what I absolutely had to: show up for my clients and ship packages. Apart from that: rest and sleep. Lovely.
2 – PODCAST ONTSLAAFD: SIL AND SYL
New episode! With Silvia Bogers. And what a conversation. You’ll want to listen to this one, because Sil is a remarkable woman and maybe this is the kick she needs to finish her own project, which got its first public mention right here in my podcast.
She danced with her eyes closed on a stage. No performing for an audience. Just moving. And the reactions afterwards left her speechless. “Magnetic,” they said. But the moment she realized it worked and started chasing it, it was gone.
We talked about the addiction to being seen. To recognition. To earning your right to exist through the outside world. About the insecure little girl who desperately wanted to be noticed. About how shopping and the perfect Instagram picture serve the same function as a drink: a quick fix. More more more! And about the moment you realize the key was in your own pocket all along.
Sil and Syl. Open and raw. Listen here: 👉 [LINK PODCAST]
1 – STATE SHIFT STEP: STRIPPED
The collaboration with my content team, who had my business as their study project, also came to an end this week. It was fun working together. We even went on TikTok, though I still need to get used to that. Don’t think it’ll stick for me right now. But we gave it a go.
And while I was lying on the couch, I found myself thinking about what Phil Stutz writes about Hidden Resources in his book True and False Magic. That most people spend their lives avoiding the test. That they never want to find out what they can truly handle. But that the highest, most human inner state comes after failure, after loss, after exhaustion. When everything has been stripped away: your mask, your status, your self-image, your story about who you are.
Because every action you take from that point, however small, truly matters. It’s the smallest step after the biggest fall that counts the most. Not despite the pain, but through it.
Naked in the sauna. Vulnerable on stage. Raw in the podcast. Wiped out on the couch. Stripped. The universe wants you like that. Well here you go universe.
THREAD: STRIPPED
Phil Stutz says: the universe wants you stripped bare. Not to break you, but because underneath all of that is where you truly are.
In the sauna I stood there. No clothes, no shame, without the three excuses that held me back for years. On stage I stood there. No safety net, twelve insane characters and a friend who nearly made me crack up. In the podcast I sat there. Raw and open about the need for recognition that we all know but nobody calls an addiction.
Silvia became magnetic when she stopped wanting people to see her. Maybe there’s something in that for all of us. With your eyes closed. Stripped. REAL. And right there: FULLY ALIVE.
WHAT’S NEXT
🎙️ Podcast Ontslaafd: Listen to the new episode with Silvia Bogers. From the insecure girl at school to dancing with her eyes closed. Would you like to talk about your addiction that you don’t call an addiction on my podcast (in Dutch)? DM me. 👉 LINK PODCAST
🃏 State Shift Method: More info and order. 👉 LINK STATE SHIFT METHOD
🎉 Be The Change Day: Fresh off the press! Friday June 26 at Wonders of Work in Utrecht. Shadow work, breathwork, Simon Sinek’s Find Your Why and more. Four sessions, four coaches. Free but incredibly valuable. Max 14 spots, so be quick. 👉 LINK BE THE CHANGE
Thanks again for reading. May the life force be with you.
💞 Syl
