PEEK IN MY WEEK #42 – Week 21 of 2026
“If you don’t let go inside, the inside will run the outside.” – Michael Singer
Full honesty: I had zero desire to write this newsletter this week. I completely restructured my State Shift training and writing a newsletter really didn’t fit into my schedule. But I’m doing it anyway, because this is pearl 42 on the string. And if I wrote about showing up last week, then I show up when it doesn’t suit me too. Especially then. Unless it really wouldn’t work, but that’s not the case. So…
5-4-3-2-1 → Let’s go! 🎬
5 – JIMMY IN THE MUD
Went for a walk with my son Jimmy in what we call the Meppeler woods. We call it “woods” loosely, because forest would be a stretch. I had told him there was a spot where we’d have to cross a ditch using tree trunks and that sounded like a proper adventure to him. We got there after a short walk, he looked at the water, which was low, and said: I’m going to jump, mama. Yep, you can see where this is going…
The way there went fine. The way back didn’t, because Jimmy fell straight backwards into the mud. Black and stinking. And I laughed way too hard, I couldn’t help it, I’d have done the same if it had been me. Which only made him cry louder. Sorry Jimmy. 😅
I dried him off as best I could with his own sweater, and luckily he was wearing sportswear so it dried fast. On the walk back we had the most beautiful conversation about trying and falling. He started with: I am NEVER doing this again. And I told him about how many things I’ve tried that didn’t work out, all the slip-ups and wrong turns. And you know, failure isn’t really a bad word, but it carries the wrong weight for most people. It’s just that: a failed attempt. Better luck next time. But many people treat a single failed attempt as the finish line: tried it, didn’t work, forget it, never again. While the only way to learn and grow is to keep trying. There it is again: you win or you learn.
The next day we went to see The Sheep Detectives with Hugh Jackman. Highly recommend it by the way, for kids from age nine. Except Jimmy gets scared easily and the shepherd dies in the film, which was quite a big deal for him. That evening we were lying in bed, having our little chat like always. Going over the day and sharing what we’re grateful for. And he suddenly got very emotional, because of that death in the film. The fear of losing people.
I’ve lost both my parents, so I know that feeling. And I didn’t say: no no, that won’t happen, blah blah blah. I said: we’re here now. And even if I’m not here someday, I’m still here in energy. I feel that from my father too, every single day. I truly believe that. It was just beautiful to be able to guide him through that.
And then he grabbed my hand and said: mama, do you know what I’m grateful for? You. That you’re always there when I’m having a hard time. OMG: melt 💖.
4 – THE ENTIRE TRAINING TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
Something happened last week. I’m not going to say much about it, but there was a situation where everything I thought I had processed came rushing up in one go. And I went off. Not relaxed, not released, just lid off and everything out. Not exactly my finest moment, and that’s a massive understatement.
But then I listened to Michael Singer and he explained exactly what had happened. We do three things with pain: we suppress it, we dump it on someone else, or we feel it and let it flow through us.
The first two? We’re absolute champions at those.
Suppressing: oh, it’s nothing, I’ll just carry on. But then you store it in your system. Singer calls them samskaras, old wounds you’ve pushed down that are guaranteed to resurface the moment they get triggered. And the worst part: you block the flow of love. Singer says:
“You’re never going to love that person again the way you loved them before, because you just blocked the flow with that garbage you shoved inside.”
Think about that for a second. You think you’re keeping the peace by saying nothing, but meanwhile you’re building a cesspool of misery, putting a lid on it, and it poisons you from the inside.
Or you go to the other person and let rip. You dump everything that lives inside you, all your unprocessed stuff, onto them. What they should do differently, how it affects you, what you think about it all. And that might feel like relief for a moment, but your wound stays. Because you haven’t done your own inner work. You wanted someone else to sort it out for you. And that never lasts.
That doesn’t mean you should never talk about it. But first you have your own work to do. First feel what’s sitting inside you. Relax. Let go. Relax and release.
And then Singer said something that really landed: the worse it is inside, the better. When you realize that, think of it this way, he says:
“Oh my God, I just caught myself a big fish.”
The bigger the rock you pull out, the more your river of energy and love can flow again. And I thought: yes, that situation was a very big fish. Not pleasant, but valuable. Because it showed me what was still sitting there and let me truly process it.
The insight was so big that I restructured the entire State Shift Method training and started from scratch. Because this needed to be part of it. This is too valuable not to share.
3 – ROTTERDAM, LUXOR AND WE WILL ROCK YOU
My sister had a surprise for me. I just had to show up in Rotterdam, that’s all I got.
I used to be terrible with surprises, because I always wanted everything under control. But when she asked over dinner whether I wanted to know what we were doing, I said: no, I don’t want to know. Ooh, I’m growing… 😂
We started at a Polish restaurant called Fajne, which means “fine” in Dutch. And it was! I’m not normally a fan of Polish food, but this was surprisingly good, and all vegetarian at that (yep, I still love a good piece of meat).
After a walk through the city, we suddenly found ourselves standing in front of the Luxor Theater. And that was a moment, because we had a Luxor Theater back home too. Our family cinema, when we still had one. How lovely!
We went to see We Will Rock You, the musical based on the music of Queen. We both grew up on that music, our dad made sure of that. It was a wonderful evening and an amazing surprise!
2 – BIRTHDAY: PARTY NUMBER 4, TAROT AND DELIVERING DECKS
Meanwhile I’ve now celebrated my birthday four times. Number four was with my dipping club, which started as cold water dipping together and has since grown into a group of lovely people I’m incredibly grateful for.
The evening ended with tarot cards, shoulder massages and beautiful, open conversations. No small talk, just going deep. I love that!
And this week I got to deliver a few decks in person and watch people unpack them. Those faces! I’ll be sharing more of that on my socials.
1 – STATE SHIFT STEP: SHOWING UP WHEN IT DOESN’T SUIT YOU
Honestly? I wanted to skip this week. Restructured the training, packed schedule, no time, no energy. Part X said: just do it next week, nobody will notice.
But I did it anyway. Not because I have to, but because it does something to me when I do show up at a moment I’d rather skip.
James Clear wrote recently:
“The issue isn’t skipping once. It’s that you practice being someone who skips.”
And that’s not what I want to practice.
THREAD: FEELING THROUGH
Jimmy felt his fear and I let him. I felt my anger and disappointment and learned from it. My sister surprised me and I let it happen instead of trying to control it. Singer says: don’t suppress, don’t dump, but surrender to it, feel it and keep going.
WHAT’S NEXT
🃏 State Shift Method: Last day (May 24) of the presale with €50 off. A complete training with 52 cards, a booklet and a holder. Already selling worldwide! 👉 [LINK STATE SHIFT METHOD]
Thanks (again) for reading, dear you. 🙏 May the life force be with you.
💞 Syl
