Week 43 – Fish Eyes, Failed Speeches and the Power of Preparation
“We can’t forget that all the energy we spend fearing that we’ll make it worse is energy not spent making it better.” – Ryan Holiday
The week of “just one more tweak before it’s really perfect.”
Interesting week. Not even that busy with work, because it was autumn break for my son and I had my hands full organizing my friend Annemiek’s 50th birthday.
Miek, as I lovingly call her, is one of those rare people who’s grateful to grow older instead of complaining about it. I find that so beautiful and inspiring.
And I wanted her gift to be perfect.
Because she’s been such a dear friend for 22 years, I poured countless hours over the past weeks and months into creating her very own magazine, which turned out amazing, thanks to the wonderful contributions from all her friends. I also spent hours (thankfully with help) blowing up balloons, setting up a wall of love, and decorating the garden with a balloon show. All that while still doing fun things with my son during the school break, in between everything else.
Friday was the big day. Not much sleep. We surprised the birthday girl with breakfast and confetti cannons together with her kids. And that night – a FANTASTIC party.
Since I’d taken the lead on organizing the gift, I figured I’d also give a little speech.
Only… that speech? I hadn’t really made time for it, except for a quick run-through in the shower.
All my time and energy had gone into perfecting the magazine. That had to be flawless. The speech? “I’ll wing it,” I thought. Well…nope.
I knew what I wanted to say, but in the heat of the moment I took the easy way out.
Called her to the front, said a few lame sentences… and handed over the gift.
A pity.
Afterwards, my Part X came at me full force:
“So you want to be on stage? You can’t even give a proper speech for your best friend!”
Missed opportunity. But I let it go quickly, because it simply was what it was.
I could make all sorts of “excuses,” but that’s a waste of time. It was another win-or-learn moment.
The learns?
- Don’t over-perfect one thing. Good enough really is good enough because then I’d have had more time to prepare the speech.
- Don’t take the easy route; you’ll regret it.
- And also: don’t be too hard on myself. It was the best I had in that busy week; you can’t change it now. Let it go and don’t feed your Part X (that inner saboteur).
- Focus on what did go well and that was a lot. Besides, my friend didn’t even notice anything was off.
I see that same “focus on what went wrong” in clients who’ve let one failed talk or flop hold them back for years, until they started working with the Tools. So for me too: practice what you preach.
Saturday: The Chinese cooking workshop (where preparation would have helped too)
On Saturday I went to Rotterdam with my 17-year-old nephew Valentijn for a cooking workshop. A gift for passing his exams.
Again, I hadn’t really prepared. I’d booked it months ago without checking what we were actually going to do. I was just happy we’d found a date that worked for both of us.
So, first surprise: it turned out to be a Chinese cooking workshop.
The owner and chef started by saying, “This is a workshop for advanced participants.”
Okay…
Then she explained that we would be:
- Making pig’s ears (“only because in the Netherlands we’re not allowed to cook bats, and pig’s ears have a similar texture”) with stuffed pig intestines filled with chicken hearts, gizzards and livers,
- Stewing reindeer hearts,
- And sucking the eyes out of fish.
Everyone probably sees this coming from a mile away, but I honestly didn’t.
I’ve been to China. People there really do eat everything. And this woman did not sound like she was joking, so we were both pretty shocked.
My nephew looked at me in horror. “Did you know this?!”
NO!
In my head I’m already scolding myself: “Seriously, what have I booked now? Great job, Holtslag.”
But something different happened here than with that speech. I flipped the switch.
Okay, no complaining, we’re just going to do this. It’ll be fine. “Be a big girl for your little nephew, Holtslag.” (He’s almost two meters tall, by the way.)
You can do this. You’re going to eat pig’s ears, liver, heart and fish eyes. Maybe it’ll even taste good. I can do this.
Meanwhile, I tried not to think about that hot pot I ate in China 15 years ago with similar “delicacies” that I absolutely hated, but okay.
And my nephew flipped his switch too, apparently.
Because when we finally got into the kitchen and heard that it had all been a joke, and that we’d be cooking “normal” dishes after all, we were actually a little disappointed. We had already committed ourselves to trying all those weird things and were looking forward to having a great story to tell afterwards.
Either way, we had a lot of fun together and we actually learned something about Chinese cuisine — and the food was delicious. Highly recommended.
By the way, Het Zesde Geluk really does offer advanced workshops. So our shock was completely justified, just so you know. So next time, check what you’re booking, unlike me.
Courage is Calling: where do you spend your energy?
Last weekend I finished reading Ryan Holiday’s book Courage is Calling.
And this quote hit me hard:
“We can’t forget that all the energy we spend fearing that we’ll make it worse is energy not spent making it better.”
That was exactly what I had been doing.
All my energy went into perfecting the magazine (safe), instead of preparing the speech (scary but important). I was busy avoiding, not preparing.
And the most important lesson from the book for me was this:
Courage doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It also comes from training and preparation.
(I probably should have read that a bit earlier, but honestly, I already knew it. The challenge is in the applying part…)
Brave people aren’t necessarily less afraid. They’re better prepared.
Competence replaces fear. The more you’ve practiced something, the less room there is for panic.
As the army manual says: “Know-how is a help. But it’s preparation that makes you brave.”
Photoshoot: priorities in the right place
This week I also had a photoshoot with Anouk Boonstra.
And this time, I approached it differently. Less fuss, more focus on what actually matters.
Normally I’d plan the hair appointment months in advance, arrange a makeup artist, borrow clothes from my favourite shop. All my preparation would go into my appearance.
Not this time. Funny how people can change, right?
I just wore my own clothes. Did my own hair. My own makeup. The way I usually look.
Except on Sunday afternoons when I walk through the supermarket with no makeup, a pink hat to hide a bad hair day, Heroic leggings, wool socks and fake leopard Uggs, that might be a step too far for now, but who knows, maybe next time.
This week my energy went to the right things.
To my child during autumn break.
To that magazine for my friend, who by the way was incredibly happy with it.
And also to showing myself as I really am. Well put-together, in my own way.
That was the win.
But here’s the learn:
Would the magazine also have been good enough after 18 hours instead of 24?
Could I have spent those last 6 hours preparing that speech instead?
Probably yes.
It’s not about never perfecting things. It’s about knowing when good is good enough, and when your energy is better spent elsewhere.
In some areas I manage that well, in others not yet. And that’s okay, as long as I keep learning.
The photos aren’t in yet, but I already know this:
It feels good not to overinvest in appearances, but to just show up as myself.
Action in the Taxi: this week’s steps
Step #1: Ideal client nailed down!
Had a great conversation with a marketer. My ideal client is now officially defined, and we’ll keep building from here.
Step #2: New photos for the future website
Photoshoot done with Anouk Boonstra. Natural, authentic, just me.
Step #3: Connecting with others (ongoing)
Had lunch with Wim Meijer. Nice to catch up about what we’re both working on in our businesses. We agreed that running a business alongside parenting is the biggest learning curve there is.
Also visited Silvia Romijn and her daughter Chelsea Romijn at their meeting place Het Esse in Lieren. Such a warm welcome and an incredibly beautiful location. Highly recommended for anyone who wants to attend or host workshops. For me too. I’ll definitely be going back there.
In conclusion
This week I learned that preparation is half the work.
But only if it’s preparation for the right things.
Not perfecting out of fear.
Not avoiding what feels uncomfortable.
But truly preparing for what matters.
And knowing when something is good enough.
So now I’m properly preparing for my talk on 11-11.
No more “I’ll manage somehow.”
But real preparation. Because the energy I spend fearing that I’ll mess it up, or saving it for later, is energy I’m not spending on making it better.
And now you:
Where are you over-perfecting the wrong things?
Where are you avoiding preparation for the thing that really matters?
And when is it actually good enough?
The question is: will you keep doing that, or will you start putting your energy into what truly matters?
Next week: even more Action in the Taxi.
Even more real preparation.
Even more fighting that Part X voice that says, “But first let’s just finish this.”
Because all the energy we spend fearing that we’ll make it worse is energy not spent making it better.
Thanks again for reading and see you next week.
Agenda
11 November 2025 – Netwerk vol Magie
I’ll be speaking about my entrepreneurial journey. Want to join? I’d love that. 👉 Sign up here
28 December 2025 – New Year’s Workshop in Meppel at BinnenRuimte
More info coming soon.
Do you also want to stop doubting yourself and procrastinating?
I coach life coaches and leaders who feel stuck in breaking the patterns that hold them back, using the Tools by Phil Stutz, among others. From self-doubt to action. From delay to momentum.
👉 Contact me for a free clarity call
✨ With active love, Syl
