Week 37.
Full-on Coaching, Podcasts, Shadow Work and… a Dash of Self-Mockery
OMG, I just love my job. Seriously.
Summer was beautiful, no doubt. But only now do I feel how energizing it is to be back in full-on coaching mode. There’s just nothing better than helping people through what you love most. And yes, that might sound a bit “ugh” to those who aren’t into their work, but it’s genuinely how I feel. I know I might not always feel this way (though I can hardly imagine that), but right now, this is where I stand. It’s an honor to serve people in this way.
It was a packed week: lots of coaching, a workshop (with all the prep that comes with it), and… I recorded my first podcast in ages! 🎙️
🎙️ Podcast with Martijn: Inner Tools x Obsidian
Martijn Aslander‘s book Starting with Obsidian gave me exactly the nudge I needed. As a coach (and pre-menopausal woman with frequent brain chaos), I realized at the PKM Summit in March that I needed a system to actually find and connect my ideas, insights, and half-baked epiphanies.
Before Obsidian, everything lived in notebooks. Pages full of brilliant insights, but good grief, where were they when I needed them? You know that feeling: you know you wrote something useful down somewhere… but where?
Also, I just wanted to podcast again. Because I genuinely enjoy it. And apparently others do too. I was surprised how often my old episodes are still being listened to.
So off to Wonders of Work for an interview with Martijn. They had a Rødecaster (fancy podcast gear) available. Thankfully, Frank Meeuwsen was there too. He actually knew how to set it up 🙃
I thought: this’ll go smoothly. I prepped well, wrote out questions, etc. But… nope. The illusion (read: arrogance) that I’d nail it was quickly shattered. Even though Martijn had warned me about first pancakes always flopping.
An old shadow showed up: “Please please, let me sound smart.” And of course, the moment I try to force that, the opposite happens. It had been a while since I recorded a podcast, so I was a bit rusty. But still.
My first thought afterward? “Definitely not publishing this. Redo. Delete. Run.“
But then I heard Brian Johnson in my head again. He’s the founder of Heroic Public Benefit Corporation, a platform that distills the best insights from thousands of philosophy and self-help books into practical tools. I’ve been a fan for years because he turns complex wisdom into usable daily actions. I’m also enrolled in his brilliant never-ending (and that’s a good thing!) coaching program (affiliatelink, free trial available):
“Reps, reps, reps. You have to be willing to suck to get good.”
So it’s online. Raw & uncut. With a powerful message from Martijn on why every coach, therapist, and creator should work with Obsidian. And my honest story about starting over with something like podcasting. Because that’s what this newsletter is for. And hopefully it helps you too:
“The one who makes the most mistakes is the best expert.”
Bring it on! Take 1. Let’s GO!
🎙️ Check the Dutch episode here.
🛠 Tool of the Week: The Shadow Companion (3-Fold Process)
I definitely needed this one afterward. This tool helped me recover from my “oops moment” in the podcast chair. And another insight: I need to actually use my own tools like I preach. Not just think “I know this already” and get stuck in theory instead of action.
Purpose of this Tool:
To maintain confidence and authenticity when doing something scary. Like performing, speaking, or being visible.
🔹 Step 1 – Before the event: See and Connect with Your Shadow
Visualize your shadow (usually your younger, rejected self). See them next to you, in the same space. Say internally: “I’m doing this with you. You belong here.”
Effect: You don’t step on stage as the “perfect you,” but as a whole human. That takes the pressure off.
🔹 Step 2 – During the event: Keep Your Shadow Close
While speaking, feel your shadow standing beside you. Imagine you’re both in the spotlight. If tension arises, whisper inside: “We’re here together. I won’t leave you behind.”
Effect: Instead of getting lost in self-consciousness, you stay grounded and authentic.
🔹 Step 3 – After the event: Confront Part X
Inevitably, Part X shows up: “You were worthless. You failed.”
Turn back to your shadow and say: “I’ll never judge you. You’re more than good enough.” And: “F*** Part X. You belong with me.”
Effect: You immediately reconnect with yourself instead of spiraling into self-criticism.
🎯 My Mission
My current mission statement: To create a movement of 1 million light-bringing action-takers by the year 2051.
Quite a mouthful, right? And in Dutch it sounds even worse haha. I’m inspired by Heroic, the platform I’m part of, which has an even more ambitious goal: To have 51% of the world flourishing by 2051.
It’s the crazy ones who change the world, right? This would be my contribution.
That’s why I want to build a coaching institute to help people with this. Because that has way more impact than coaching 1-on-1. Over the past 1.5 years, I’ve trained 13 coaches. I’ve taken a short break to reposition my business, but I’m still training individuals.
Last Thursday, I was back at it. And I absolutely thrive when introducing someone new to Phil Stutz’s philosophy combined with my own State Shift techniques. Phil’s Tools are part of that.
And how beautiful is it when, a few days later, someone tells you they’ve learned to look at themselves with deep love. And that it feels amazing!
🎤 Workshop in Meppel: Moving Forward with Confidence
Friday, I got to teach again in the cozy Binnenruimte of Marjan van Buuren. We had a smaller group this time, so everyone got lots of personal attention. The common thread quickly emerged:
- “Who am I to…”
- “How can I show myself without shame?”
- “How do I get back into my own power?”
So much recognition. So much courage. It was intense, valuable, and educational. For me too.
Note to self: Plan more space (or just make it a full-day workshop). Working on it.
🧠 Negative Thinking & Inputs
Kindness toward yourself may seem small. But it’s huge.
Many of my clients (and yes, me too sometimes, as you’ve noticed) have developed a pattern of constant criticism. Toward others. Toward themselves. And that pattern is addictive. Because we think it protects us.
“If I expect the worst, I can only be pleasantly surprised.”
But that lens turns your whole reality gray. You think the world is that way because you experience it that way. It needs to be untrained. Your inner world is your outer world.
A client recently sent me an Insta video: “How do I control my wandering mind?”
My answer? Control your inputs.
If you’re constantly scrolling Instagram, X, or TikTok (especially as a coach/creator), you’re exposed to:
- Negativity
- Other people’s perfection
- 1001 ways you “should be doing better”
That drains your energy and undermines your actions.
“A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.”
And no, I don’t mean daydreaming. I mean your brain being blown up by other people’s nonsense. Funny videos included. Fun, but deadly for your focus if it becomes your default.
No one lies on their deathbed thinking: “I wish I’d watched more silly videos.”
They think: “I wish I’d connected more and done what I truly wanted with the people who matter.”
📅 Agenda
November 11, 2025 Netwerk vol Magie by Liesbeth Kingma. Next workshop – new date coming soon!
👉 Organizing an event and looking for a speaker with energy, substance, and humor? Let’s talk. I love being on stage 🎤
💛 Final Thought
If you take just one thing from this newsletter, let it be this:
“Fail forward. The path is paved with missteps.” and “Make your peace with being bad before you get good.”
💬 Want to chat about what’s holding you back right now? Or just have a good conversation? My DM box is always open.
Thanks for reading! Was this valuable? Reply, subscribe, share it. 💌
May the life force be with you, Syl
