Week 22 / Week 1 – Alycia and her mission, what Phil Stutz taught me about December, and why 2025 was a year of small moments that were big
Alycia and her mission
On Sunday I was standing at the train station for a meeting with: Alycia Lee.
We’ve known each other for years through Heroic, where I follow various trainings and programs for life. We met in LA at Coach Class 1. We slogged through that first Spartan Race together, which was part of the requirement to pass, the reason I almost didn’t join the program, and now I actually love Obstacle Runs!
There was always an online connection. We followed multiple trainings and workshops together.
And the funny thing? Even though she travels a lot, her home base is in the Netherlands. Which led to a hilarious moment a few years ago when we literally ran into each other while plowing through the sand at the Spartan Race on the beach in Zandvoort. Of all places, haha!
But this time we stood still. Still with her beautiful mission and all the challenges that come with it.
And man, I was hanging on her every word, because she is full of stories.
Alycia does incredibly inspiring work. She runs Operation Instigation in South Africa. Heroic Uth workshops for young people in communities affected by generations of oppression, violence, unemployment, drug use.
And she doesn’t do it from “oh, poor them.” But from: you have potential too. Here are the tools. Now get to work.
The story that touched me
She told me about a group of young people who did their first Instigating Excellence training in June 2024.
School grades? 40–60%. In their context, that usually means: repeating a year, dropping out, disappearing from the system.
Not because they’re not smart.
Not because they don’t want to.
But because no one ever taught them how to deal with pressure, attention, habits, and setbacks.
What Alycia did:
She gave them tools. No pretty talk. No “you can be anything.” But concrete tools:
Taking responsibility for what you can control. Building habits that support focus and self-confidence. Seeing yourself as a creator, not a victim.
And then something special happened.
End of 2024: 100% of the students passed.
End of 2025: 100% passed again.
Grades rose to 80–90%. And stayed there.
No temporary boost. No motivational high that fades. Sustainable change.
And that proves what I’ve been saying all along: people don’t fail because they can’t. They fail because they’re under-equipped.
Give them tools. Give them structure. Give them confidence combined with practice.
And they rise. And keep rising.
Why I’m sharing this
Because this is exactly what I believe in.
Not saving. Not filling things in for people. But providing what’s needed.
Alycia’s work in South Africa. My work here in the Netherlands. The same essence.
People don’t need motivation. They need tools.
And if you want to know what Alycia does, follow her on the Operation Instigation Substack.
Want to donate?
Every contribution, big or small, has direct impact. Click here to donate. Thank you so much for helping. 🙏
Phil Stutz on December
Last week I received another beautiful email from Phil Stutz. About December. About Part X. About faith.
Phil writes: “We’re in a spiritual crisis.”
December is the ultimate test. We shop, eat, drink, scroll until we collapse. We use excuses like “it’s Christmas” and swear we’ll “do better next year.”
But we won’t. Unless we wake up.
Why not? Because our Part X, the inner saboteur, is in control.
Part X whispers, and often shouts, that we’re not, fill in the blank, enough. And then it says: if you just get this or that, you’ll feel so much better.
Which makes everything worse. And that’s why this time of year can feel so empty for so many people.
What also touched me this week
The spiritual piggy bank.
One of the reasons we give in to all the excess around us, especially this time of year, is because we don’t connect it to something higher than the immediate situation.
You don’t want to gain weight. But that’s a weak motivator when a piece of cake is staring at you seductively.
Phil says: the only way to resist immediate gratification, to not eat that cake, is to see self-control as a deposit into what you could call a spiritual savings account.
This applies to every act of self-discipline you take.
Not giving in to laziness.
Not scrolling Instagram.
Not drinking too much.
Practice this and you’ll feel the connection between all of them. It’s a feeling that EVERYTHING matters.
Trust me, it will change how you see the world.
And there always comes a moment, or several, in this process when you feel like giving up. Because the effort you’re making offers no guarantee of success.
But when you keep going while the outside world promises you nothing, then you can be sure you’re trusting higher, inner forces. An energy you can truly rely on, that truly fills you. From the inside out.
That is faith.
My Christmas
And that brings me to my own Christmas. Celebrated with my lovely sister and brother-in-law and of course my son.
On the second day of Christmas I had a choice. A day with family or being with my best friend who had just lost her father, which I wrote about last week. I simply combined the two.
We had coffee with the family, made a beautiful dessert with my son, opened gifts, and then I spent the rest of the day with my friend.
Not because I had to. But because it felt like the right thing to do. In connection. We had a beautiful reflection on the old year together using Inner Compass Cards, still my favorite card deck after almost ten years.
The workshop
And then yesterday’s workshop, December 30. It was packed, sold out, yay, and incredibly beautiful.
12 people letting go of the old year. Breathwork with Mariska. Shadow work. Sound bowls with Hester. Gratefully Out, Enthusiastically In.
Participants already said they want to sign up for next year. Wow, right?
More on that next week. 💖
Tip: Reframe app
One more thing. For people inspired by my “quitting alcohol” story:
If one of your intentions is to quit or reduce alcohol, check out the Reframe app.
So incredibly good. I’m not even subscribed anymore but I still get emails. And it’s very inspiring to stay away from alcohol.
What’s coming in 2026
A podcast.
This newsletter in English. Also on other channels.
A book.
A new training.
And more…! It feels exciting. And that’s good. If you add a touch of joy, you can turn tension into excitement. So… I am excited about 2026! Bring it on!
This is the last newsletter of 2025. And I want to close with gratitude.
In closing – Thank you 2025
This year was special.
Among other things: 22 weeks of writing this newsletter. Giving workshops. Standing on stage. Meeting new people. New experiences. New homes.
I went through deep lows and high peaks. I got to learn and try a lot. In small and big moments, and I’ll happily share more about that with you next week.
And I’m going onnnn in 2026!
With more tools. More workshops. More connection. More impact. But less from “having to” and more from love. So also: more rest. More presence. More balance. From deep trust.
Because I learned, once again, that it’s not just about working. But about balance. About full attention. About being present.
Thank you for reading along with me this year. For stepping into vulnerability with me. Into the tools. Into growth. 🙏
As Mara Branscombe writes so beautifully in her book Sage, Huntress, Lover, Queen, which I received from my love:
There will always be challenges, change, and the unknown.
And yet, the sun continues to bless you through it all.
Build your capacity to maneuver life’s wild rides.
From the darkest nights to the brightest days, feed the center of your universe with gold.
Bow to humility.
Rise to forgiveness.
Allow compassion to be your teacher.
For if not you, then who?
For if not here, then where?
Let joy in when it surges through your blood and makes your heart skip a beat.
Love from the core of your body.
Follow the sun’s lead. No longer dim your light.
You are worthy of your greatest dreams.
The world is ready for your creative, wild, and courageous self.
Until 2026, dear reader, with a look back in gratitude and with energy and enthusiasm for the new year. I wish you a beautiful end of the year.
May the life force be with you,
Syl
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