Peek in my week #20

Week 20 – Twenty weeks of showing up, Part X saying your business is going to hell anyway, and why recognition is worthless if you don’t do anything with it

Twenty

YES! THIS is newsletter #20! This morning, coffee in hand, I looked at my laptop and thought: holy shit, Holtslag, you did it. Twenty weeks. Every week: showing up. Boom!

Even when I thought: do I even have anything to say?
Even when it would have been easier to skip.

That is one of my wins of 2025. And together with two others, they make me feel fueled to make 2026 a brilliant success.

My 3 wins of 2025

1. This newsletter – 20 weeks consistent

Writing every week forces you to look.
At yourself.
At what works and what doesn’t.

You can’t hide behind words when you have to show up every single week and show who you are.

This newsletter taught me to show, not tell. To be vulnerable without drama. To be real. And I’m taking that with me into 2026.

And yes, I can be critical of myself.
Too few people reading it.
Too few responses.
Too little whatever.

But that’s not what it’s about.

It’s not about the result. It’s about taking action. Action in the Taxi, as my experiment is called.

Because the result, you don’t control that. Except for the one influence you do have: the action itself. The rest is no longer up to you.

My motto: if even one person is helped by it, I consider it a success. And that person can also be me. So every week is a success. 😂

2. Loneliness – after a broken relationship

Sixteen years together. And then suddenly: you’re doing it alone and there are days without anyone else in the house and I had to deal with silence. Also on weekends.

I live in the “bustling center” of Meppel and you see and hear people going to the pub together. Not that I’d want to anymore, but still.

So I dealt with it and went through it. Not numbing it (because in the past I would have just had a drink by myself). But simply: feeling and being okay with negative emotions.

Radically accepting that loneliness is there and you know what happened? I learned to enjoy it. I can now sit in a quiet house and think: nice! What peace.

3. Financially on my own feet, running a household alone

It’s just different living on your own than running a household as a couple, duh, some will say. But I did have to rediscover that for myself after having been in relationships for 29 years.

All costs are mine.
All decisions are mine.
All responsibility is mine.

And that feels good and still I had to get used to it. But now that too feels wonderful.

Workshop Friday December 12 – Part X in action

Last Friday was the workshop in Utrecht: Make 2026 the Greatest Year of Your Life.

It was a challenge to flip the switch. Because half an hour before arrival I heard that the father of my best friend had passed away. But the show must go on, so I used the Tool: Flip the Switch from Heroic Public Benefit Corporation (see the drawing below). I shared it briefly with my participants to give myself some space, and then we could still go all-in and it became a very beautiful afternoon with a very beautiful group.

The Part X parade

Among other things, we did an exercise: “Which pattern is holding you back?” And then something beautiful happened. One by one people started sharing:

“I’m not good enough.”

“I have to be perfect before I can start.”

“Who am I to do this?”

“I’m not going to make it anyway.”

This was recognizable for everyone and I felt the relief in the room: THANK GOD, I’m not the only one. I used to always think I was the only one with these kinds of thoughts about fear of failure, perfectionism, negative thoughts, impulsive thoughts, and so on.

It’s nice not to be alone in that. Wanting to stay in control also came up. And I felt it in myself: there’s still work for me there too.

Because here’s the thing: I was done with it. Really. I had healed that pattern.

But then I stopped maintaining it. I didn’t train it enough. And what happens then?

The old system comes back.

Your subconscious grabs what’s familiar. The old patterns. An old default system. Healing is not a one-and-done thing. It’s a daily practice. Consistent maintenance.

Because you can heal something. But if you don’t train it, if you don’t keep doing it, your system falls back to what it always did.

That’s not failure. That’s human. That’s how it works.

And that’s why I still have to get to work myself too. Even with things I thought I had “resolved”.

The question is not: do you have Part X?
The question is: what does your Part X do?

And when you see that, in yourself and in each other, something happens. You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. You’re not broken. You’re human.

The shame disappears. It becomes speakable. You can work with it.

But here’s the big thing:

Recognition is nice, but worthless if you don’t do anything with it afterward. And especially if none of us do anything with it, which you also see happening a lot.

You can know you’re not the only one. You can feel relief. You can think: oh, this is a pattern.

And then what?

Then you go home.
And that voice is still there.
And you still do nothing.
And there go the weeks, months, years… eventually: your life.

I also have my own Part X and my big thing is that if I let myself be distracted less often by that voice, I’m going to achieve so much more.

That’s the person I want to be. That’s the person I’m going to be.

Someone who hears Part X and keeps going anyway. Who gets into the taxi even when Part X yells: “Stop! Too scary! Too big! Who the f* do YOU think you are?!”

The breakthrough

At the end of the workshop people read out their insights and this was the moment. No more recognizing. No more talking. But: committing.

They really felt they were going to get to work. Not “maybe”. Not “I’ll try”. But: I’m going to do it.

Because you’ve known for months what you want to change. You’ve known for months what you need. And you still haven’t done it. Not because you’re lazy. Not because you’re busy.

But because you let that voice in your head speak louder than your intention.

Until you make a commitment. Out loud. With others present. And take the first small steps.

From knowing to doing. From recognizing to working. From pattern to breakthrough.

But you do have to let go of your old shit to be able to let the new in.

So great that you were there, including Marjon Wiendels, Marielle Rossel, Esther van Schaik Mariska van Dam Hester van Balen Wim Meijer Micha Wolfs Berry Wognum Janneke Doornbos Antina Keizer Vivien Nieuwenweg. And if you feel like it and feel called, share an insight under this post again. 🙏

Energy. Connection. Commitment. Delicious!!! And we’re going to do more with that!

December 30 – breathing the old year OUT

On December 30 I’m hosting a day together with breath therapist Mariska van Dam and sound therapist Hester that is completely different.

Not just talking.
Not just writing.
But feeling. Letting go. Anchoring.

Because your pattern doesn’t just live in your head. It lives in your body. In your system.

The day consists of 3 parts:

1. LETTING GO – Breathwork with Mariska

Everything that didn’t work out in 2025. Everything that was heavy. Everything you want to leave behind.

We’re going to breathe it out. Literally. Physically.

2. ANCHORING – with shadow work

From dark to light.

Your intention for 2026 goes deep. Not superficial. Not “I’m going to work out more”. But: “I become the person who…”

In between we’ll enjoy a delicious lunch with food by Berry Wognum and listen to Janneke with guitar music.

3. INTEGRATING – Sound session with Hester

Sound brings your new intention into your body. You hear it resonate. You feel the vibration through your entire system and you go home different. Ready for a brilliant 2026!

Practical

Where: Binnen Ruimte, Meppel
When: December 30, 10:00-16:00
Investment: €147 (normally €197), fully catered with a delicious lunch

This is not for everyone. This is for people who are done with excuses and ready for real change. You can sign up here.

In closing

2025 was a year of wins.

This newsletter for 20 weeks. Loneliness after a broken relationship. Financially running a household alone.

Small things, maybe. But big for me. And those wins? They are fuel. Fuel for 2026.

Because if I can keep going. If I can sit with loneliness. If I can stand on my own two feet. Then I can also go all out in 2026.

But here’s what I’ve also learned:

Not focusing on results. But on action. Regardless of the result. And the magical thing that happens because of that? Because you’re in that forward flow, results show up. People, opportunities, situations from unexpected angles.

The universe can do its magic.

As soon as you stop clinging tightly to how it should be, it comes.

And you?

What are your wins of 2025?

Write them down. Celebrate them. Let them be your fuel. And which pattern is holding you back? What does your Part X say?

“I’m not good enough”?
“I have to be perfect”?
“Who am I to do this”?
“I’m not going to make it anyway”?

Recognize it. Name it. And move through it.

Because your obstacles? They are your fuel.

Your patterns? You can flip them.

Your Part X? You can recognize it and pass it.

You have to let go of the old to be able to let the new in.

And 2026?

2026 will be what you make of it.

Come January 10. Come December 30. Or do it your own way.

But do it.

Because this is your year!

Thank you for reading. 🙏

May the life force be with you,
Syl

👉 Plan a free clarity call

Even if you just want to chat and hear how I do things. Maybe I can help you.

Plan your call here

Remember: we find each other in vulnerability.

Agenda

December 30, 2025 – Gratefully Out – Enthusiastically In 📍 Binnenruimte Meppel 10:00-16:00 | Max 12 participants, 3 modules: Breathwork (Mariska) | Tools (Sylvia) | Sound (Hester)
Letting go. Anchoring. Integrating.
Investment: €147 (normally €197)
You can sign up here

January 10, 2026 – Make 2026 the Greatest Year of Your Life 📍 Meppel or Groningen (location to follow) NOW FREE! 14:00-17:00
Energy/Work/Love framework | Recognizing Part X | Making commitment