Week 36. Week 12 of 2026. I got to move house. Again. Yay.
5 – NO TO TOO MUCH
Boxes. Boxes. More boxes.
I’m terrible at getting rid of things. What if I need it someday? But my friend called me out mid-move: “Holtslag, what happened? Last time we filled two cars. Now it’s four.”
So: five boxes gone. Clothes to a new secondhand shop in town. Bits and pieces to the charity shop. Stuff to the Salvation Army. Adios muchachos. Hope someone else enjoys them.
And yet: between all the hauling, I still managed to record a podcast, work on the English version of The State Shift Method, visit a client, and throw a little party.
Sometimes I wonder how I do it all.
But I know the answer: by also saying no. No to a networking event, even though I know it would be magic. No to theatre training, even though I love it.
Setting boundaries isn’t just about your calendar. It’s about your stuff too. What are you still holding on to? 📦
4 – PODCAST: PLEASE SEE ME!
This week I recorded an episode of my podcast Ontslaafd (Unhooked) with Silvia Bogers. (Yes, you read that right… Sil and Syl in one podcast.)
Topic? How badly we want to be seen and recognised.
Silvia wrote a book about her journey of self-discovery after her divorce. Raw. Vulnerable. Unfiltered. About how she encountered herself in dating, in going out, in wanting to be seen.
And how she discovered she was at her most magnetic when she closed her eyes and just danced freely. Not for others. For herself.
Recognise that? I do.
That episode is coming soon. Stay tuned. 🎙️
Oh, and I’m looking for guests. So if you’ve ever been addicted to something we don’t call a “real” addiction, because it’s so “normal” or unknown in our society… get in touch.
3 – DARK SHADOWS: BARRY MICHELS
Easter Sunday I caught a Dark Shadows meetup with Barry Michels alongside the film Kain, which was also about being truly yourself.
He started talking about prayer. Growing up half-Polish, church was mandatory. Every evening on your knees, rosary beads at the coffee table. I used to hate it. But since working with the Tools®, I think about it differently.
“You don’t pray to be good or to get things. You pray to change your state.”
Barry’s mother, by the way, was a fierce atheist. “You’re born, you die, life is meaningless, get over it.” To her, prayer was primitive magic. Hocus pocus.
But Barry sees it differently. Prayer is poison to Part X (the inner Saboteur). Because Part X wants you to listen only to him. Prayer says: I need help from something greater than myself.
And then this:
“Prayer is the act of revealing, nakedly, vulnerably, and with real intensity, just how hurt, brokenhearted, and resourceless you feel at that moment.”
Naked. Vulnerable. With real intensity. That’s prayer. Not the words. The surrender.
Also beautiful: someone asked how to handle joy when life keeps knocking you down. Barry’s answer?
“Joy makes you very vulnerable. When you’re opened up and really happy about something, that’s when if life slams you, it really hurts.”
But: you have to learn to feel joy and bear the danger of it. At the same time. That’s courage.
There’s a Dark Shadows meeting with Barry Michels every month. If shadow work interests you… be there while Barry is still with us (he’s seriously ill, and these meetings are, without exaggeration: GOLD). Keep an eye on the events here! 🌑
2 – EGGS WITH AI
Jimmy said recently: “Mum, when it’s my birthday I definitely want to sleep at yours again. Because then I get another one of those treasure hunts.”
I’d made one when he turned ten. “Hold on,” I said. “Treasure hunts are for milestone birthdays only.”
But hey, it was Easter. So I put one together for the egg hunt with a little help from ChatGPT. Riddles, physical challenges, walking, jumping, running, collecting letters. Over an hour through the building where we now live and the park.
He absolutely loved it. A great way to get a kid moving and connected to nature. AI as a tool for quality time. 🐣
1 – STATE SHIFT STEP: JUST SAY NO
Jamie Rose writes in her book Facing Madame X:
“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”
And then, without ceremony: “Just fucking say no.”
Part X whispers the opposite. She says: you’re missing out. You’re letting people down. You’re not enough if you don’t say yes to everything.
But Jamie also describes the Evil Shadow. That wild, uninhibited part of yourself. She says:
“Her wildness, passion, enthusiasm and strength allow us to demand a raise, set boundaries for our children, and pursue joy. Even when others don’t understand or approve.”
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. It’s a prerequisite for being able to give anything at all.
Every yes you say when you mean no costs energy. Every box you drag along when you no longer need it weighs you down.
Where are you still saying yes when you mean no?
Just fucking say no. 🚫
THREAD
In the podcast: Silvia discovers she’s most magnetic when she’s herself. With Barry: prayer means showing yourself naked and vulnerable.
Phil Stutz says: “Vulnerability is the glue that keeps the universe together.”
Brené Brown says: “Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.”
We all want to be seen. But that only happens when we dare to show ourselves.
Not perfect. Not adjusted. Not wearing a mask. Just… real. Especially when you also say no.
FOR YOU
“You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort, but you cannot choose both.” – Brené Brown
Want to know more about the State Shift Method®?
Thanks for reading. 🙏 May the life force be with you.
💞 Syl
